decruitment, n. the dismissal by a company of employees “who are no longer needed.” Formerly known as redundancy. Delightful neologistic synonyms include “uninstalling” and the now veteran “downsizing”. People don’t “get the sack” any more. This is because that expression has a negative ring which detracts from the wholly positive phenomenon of people losing […]
going forward, adv. henceforth, from this point in time, from now on, in the future. Sometimes, “on a go-forward basis,” a mutation of an already pointless phrase. In speech, no meaning is usually lost by replacing “going forward” with “erm” or pausing to scratch your nose. Example: “Going forward, there are reasons to be […]
At least we’re good at some things. British workers, it seems, top the European league of skivers. Our 35 million sickies each year account for over a quarter of Europe’s total of 122 million, according to new research by Aon Consulting. The study covered 7,500 workers in ten European countries and differentiated between genuine work […]
By some quirk of postmodernity, deputy Labour party leader Tessa Jowell is featured as a landmark on Google Maps. By searching for the postcode “SW1A 0PW” on the web mapping service, you’ll find Tessa some 100 metres south of Big Ben. Ms Jowell is known to frequent this part of Westminster, though she is thought […]
Today’s theme is bacon. About a month ago we ran a story about MMMvelopes, envelopes whose gum is flavoured with an artificial bacon flavour. (They’re even Kof-K Kosher certified). Today we add a few more bacon-flavoured goodies vaguely related to the office. We cannot vouch for their kosher / halal status. On these hot and […]
Yesterday we spoke highly of Meatcards, a company that etches business cards onto beef jerky. In other meat-related office supplies news, Seattle-based novelty store Archie MacPhee sells an assortment of beef bandages – a noble, practical idea. Each tin contains three large and ten small T-bone steak sterile bandages with absorbent, non-stick pad and long-lasting […]
Meat – The flesh of animals used as food, excluding fish and sometimes chicken. Stationery – Writing materials, writing-table appurtenances. Meat stationery – A brave combination that makes total sense. Clever and disarmingly modern yet intuitive. Civilisation is not yet advanced or otherwise sophisticated enough for meat stationery to be widely available, but when […]
Eating sandwiches at your desks poses risks to your health. That’s because our desks are dirty and a majority of us do not wash our hands before eating. According to research commissioned by Carex, four in ten of us say we eat at our desks at lunchtime but only seven percent clean up after. Two-thirds […]
Men whinge more about being ill than women, according to a study of 3,000 UK workers commissioned by Engage Mutual Assurance. The survey supports the popular belief that men complain more about ailments and pains. According to their partners, more than 57 per cent of men become attention-seeking when ill, with 65 per cent constantly […]
An Ipsos survey for Lexmark has found that office workers are more conscientious when printing in colour than in black and white. In consequence, workers send less jobs to a colour printer. Black printouts in contrast are printed with relative impunity, with greater resulting costs in Paper and toner. At a glance: Almost 70% of […]
How to plan the office Christmas party Whether you count down the days, or desperately scrabble around for an excuse not to go, the office Christmas party is an event on almost every company’s calendar. So, how do you plan a party that everyone will enjoy? It’s a tricky balance to get Bob from Accounts […]
Top tips to improve your time management skills Despite what people say, time is not a commodity. It cannot be traded, expanded or reduced. It is fixed. Our perception of time, however, is another concept. How often do you think at 4pm “Where has the day gone?” and go into panic mode to try to […]
Planning in business is essential Everything from the monthly sales drive to a new product launch or project needs planning. It promotes joined-up thinking and good decision-making throughout the whole organisation. “A goal without a plan is just a wish”, observed the famous writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery, summing up a key business principle. Each business […]
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