Woman Escapes Toilet Death

A woman was hospitalised with serious but non-threatening injuries she sustained when a toilet she was sitting on exploded in a US government building last Monday. Another employee was less seriously injured by the would-be lavatorial tragedy at a General Services Administration building in Washington, D.C.

Following the mishap, the wheels of federal government were quick to turn. An internal memo was immediately issued to warn building workers away from the toilets:

“DO NOT flush toilets or use any domestic water. Due to a mechanical failure, there is high air pressure in the domestic water system that resulted in damage to toilets. The engineering staff is working to correct the issue.

“There has been damage to flushed toilets that has resulted in injuries. We will announce when the issue is resolved.”

Russian officials recently announced the arrival of terrorist-proof, “virtually indestructable” public toilets in Moscow by the end of the year.

The Washington toilet malfunction, however, is not being linked to terrorism. The finger instead is being pointed at overpressurisation, an occasional yet omnipresent hazard of toilet maintenance.