Do you have a multi-slacker in your office (a person who does lots of unproductive things all at the same time, such as chatting to a friend on the phone while instant messaging and watching YouTube)? If so, perhaps they should be uninstalled (fired)? Here’s some of the latest office lingo so that all of […]
What do you call someone who gets side-tracked in business meetings? An Agenda Bender of course! Or the person who raids the stationery cupboard on a regular basis? Why, that’s Ronnie Bics! For more corporate jargon, read on: Al desco dining – eating lunch at your desk Blamestorming session – meeting aimed at finding a scapegoat for a […]
Best practice Despite office jargon being something that has long irritated us, it’s a workplace sin that a lot of us indulge in. That’s according to recent poll of 1,014 people commissioned by loan company wonga.com. One in five workers (19%) admits to being an ‘office waffler’. Sixteen percent think that using vacuous idioms like […]
A recent survey of UK office workers has shown widespread frustration at the use of management speak. Three-quarters of the 2,000 polled were annoyed by their line managers using vacuous workplace jargon such as “push the envelope”. “Think outside the box”, “blue sky thinking” and “hit the ground running” were deemed the worst offending phrases […]
blue-sky thinking, n. Fig.: Creative ideation not limited by dominant beliefs or paradigms. The term has its origins in the attributive “blue-sky” referring from the end of the nineteenth century to having a pleasant appearance but with difficulties ignored, unrealistic. Example: “We need to synergise our people and technology with some blue-sky thinking.” * * […]
to sing from the same (also song) hymn sheet, v. to be in agreement, to express the same view, to present a united front; cf. to be on the same page, to read from the same page. to have the same information and think similarly. Example: “The Fujigawa consortium will be singularly unimpressed if […]
best practice, n. From OED: “chiefly Business (as a mass noun) the practice which is accepted by consensus or prescribed by regulation as correct; the preferred or most appropriate style.” First attested in OED from 1984. Basically it means identifying what works in other organisations, departments or projects and emulating it. Example: “Best practice is […]
decruitment, n. the dismissal by a company of employees “who are no longer needed.” Formerly known as redundancy. Delightful neologistic synonyms include “uninstalling” and the now veteran “downsizing”. People don’t “get the sack” any more. This is because that expression has a negative ring which detracts from the wholly positive phenomenon of people losing […]
going forward, adv. henceforth, from this point in time, from now on, in the future. Sometimes, “on a go-forward basis,” a mutation of an already pointless phrase. In speech, no meaning is usually lost by replacing “going forward” with “erm” or pausing to scratch your nose. Example: “Going forward, there are reasons to be […]
How to plan the office Christmas party Whether you count down the days, or desperately scrabble around for an excuse not to go, the office Christmas party is an event on almost every company’s calendar. So, how do you plan a party that everyone will enjoy? It’s a tricky balance to get Bob from Accounts […]
Top tips to improve your time management skills Despite what people say, time is not a commodity. It cannot be traded, expanded or reduced. It is fixed. Our perception of time, however, is another concept. How often do you think at 4pm “Where has the day gone?” and go into panic mode to try to […]
Planning in business is essential Everything from the monthly sales drive to a new product launch or project needs planning. It promotes joined-up thinking and good decision-making throughout the whole organisation. “A goal without a plan is just a wish”, observed the famous writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery, summing up a key business principle. Each business […]
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