A pair of scissors is one of humankind’s most useful inventions – but watch out if you fail to respect this potentially lethal tool.
Every year a fair number of people forget that messing with scissors is the equivalent of dicing with death. A few years ago, a Chinese man who should have known better used some scissors as a toothpick and needed emergency surgery after swallowing them.
And every Christmas Day, hospitals all over the world deal with parents who have tried to use scissors as screwdrivers, because they wanted to assemble a toy in a hurry. It just takes one slip and Christmas dinner is replaced with a trip to A & E. And that’s in addition to the people who injure themselves with knives because they couldn’t be bothered to look for their scissors when trying to open their pressies.
Worse than these blunders though is the cardinal sin of running with scissors. This is the biggest act of tomfoolery any human being can perform. Why try to break 100 metres Olympic sprint record with a pair of scissors in your hand? You could meet your mate and accidentally stab him. Or end up impaling yourself.
Sit down with scissors and you’ll be Vlad you’re still in one piece.